We hear a lot about discrimination against people for their weight or their skin colour or even their sex. But we do not hear enough about a new physical style that is more and more present in this society: androgynes. Especially androgynous men. I feel that a woman will be “forgiven” more easily for being androgynous than a man. Concretely, what is androgynous? It is a person who plays on appearance.
I speak for myself personally. I like to deceive appearances. It amused me to see that people were mistaken and treated me like a girl because of the clichés they learned their whole life. My name is Evan Mahe, I am 19 years old and I am an androgynous man.
You can’t imagine the number of heterosexual men who come to me almost daily. And when they learn the truth, some are curious. These men are usually nice. They are open-minded and ask me questions about my daily life as an androgyne. Some people are disappointed, and they stop seeing me. And finally the others, the worst, some get angry, probably out of frustration, becoming almost violent and insulting.
We hear a lot about sexism, men towards women in general, or even transsexuals, but we almost never hear about sexism towards androgynes. Because I look like a woman, I suffer from sexism. By that, I mean : innapropriates looks and gestures or incest messages on the networks. My youth was very difficult.
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When you are young you are easily influenced, but also very fragile emotionally. And when I was young, I already had the gestures of a woman and a feminine face: I don’t have a square jaw, an imposing nose or thick eyebrows. And since my youth, I did not spend a day without being criticized or insulted. I was unable to find work because of my androgyny. I was told to change my look then, but I will never change my appearance for anyone.
But being an androgynous, I had to accept the fact that finding a job in the trade, or a job where you would see my face, would be almost impossible. When I started to assert my choices and assume who I was and who I would like to be, my mother, who was always there for me, said to me, « The world will not give you gifts. It’s hard for me to tell you that, but if you want to be yourself, you’ll have to accept the opinions of others, the looks and the judgments. But you are strong, and it is important to survive. » Exactly, « survive ». Because today, even today, a different person is going to be considered a pariah who has to survive in a still too hostile world.
I especially want us to think about androgynes. It’s not just feminism or the LGBT cause. It’s also androgynes. There are very few of us in this world, but we are there. We exist. We are discriminated against because we do not fit to standard.
I do not tell you my story to be complained of as a “victim”. I am strong, and all these trials have forged me. But I don’t want other people like me, who feel different, unique, to have to go through what I’ve been through all my life. Realize that every act, every word, every gesture has a consequence.