Because of our education or our personality, saying no can be difficult. However, it is very important to assert oneself and to learn to say no to what one does not want.
Why is saying “no” difficult ?
For many of us, negativity is difficult. We are afraid of disappointing, of offending, of not pleasing, of being seen as selfish, and all of these feelings cause guilt and change the way we deal with people.
Saying no is difficult because it is a mechanism that comes from childhood, “not saying no”, “pleasing others” etc. Whether it’s your upbringing, your beliefs or your convictions, saying no is scary. And the fear of being rejected has a great impact on this difficulty to say no and pushes us to accept everything.
The importance of saying no
Learning to say no is learning to assert yourself. It means putting your needs before those of others. Saying no is not selfishness, it is putting yourself back at the center of your own existence, it is saying “yes” to yourself. Saying no is also respecting others, if you say yes because of a constraint, you will not be at 100% in what you do.
You have to realize that a “no” will not do you any harm. The people who love you will continue to love you and understand your need for time to yourself. If someone makes you feel guilty for saying no to them, it is because they would have liked you to take care of their own selfishness.
Knowing how to say no has an impact on the way people see you. You send back the image of someone who is assertive in his character and in his life choices. This can reassure a future business partner for example, because you know what you want and what you don’t want.
How to say no
The goal of affirmation is not to say no to everything, it is to listen to yourself. To say “yes” or “no” is to make a choice, and therefore assume it. Don’t think that you don’t have a choice, some are just more delicate than others.
Don’t hesitate to take the time to think about it, rather than giving an instant answer. Ask yourself the right questions : do you want to ? Does it make you happy ? If you say no, don’t justify it. You don’t need to prove to your interviewer that you are a good person! And if the timing is not right, propose an alternative solution, a compromise.
Knowing how to say “no” is a strength of character and it is not easy for anyone. Know how to stand your ground and don’t feel guilty. If you said “no”, it is for a good reason, no one can blame you for taking time for yourself !
Can you say “no” without feeling guilty ? If so, share your experience with us on WhatsApp. If not, tell us why. We’ll share it on our social networks.
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